Dani,
You are, justifiably, terrified; I know. So much has happened to you, against you, for you. Yes, surely. You’ve had your unique experience, and you did what you thought was right (for what it was). Despite every single reason you had to ascend. Despite all pushes, foreign and within, to the edge of slipping. You made the choice to stay. You chose life. The next choice is: you.
There can be respect in autonomy, in patience. There can be dignity in knowing what you won’t tolerate. There can be beauty in accepting your power.
It’s in you. You are already who you need to be. The shadows this vessel. this spectrum, casts do not define, nor diminish, your true being. Just as you were, on your knees, pleading for him to understand, and for you to trust: Love is the answer. Beg with your spirit, Dani. Breakdown and cry in your lap. Try to get yourself to understand the value and worth and scarcity of love like yours. Fill her chest with a knotted silence so strong she cries from the weight of your plea. Feel the closeness of your core, coax it out. Breathe through it. To, in time, when your eyes can handle hers, look up. Inhale, lift head. Exhale, open. You’re right where you need to be.
Trust your femininity. Trust your heart. Trust your power. Believe in your dignity. Believe in your worth.
You are not severed from the collective.
- A Seed for Myself, 11/10/2021
This wasn’t my first march, but no one can deny that: Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Oluwatoyin Salau, Robert Fuller, Nina Pop & Monika Diamond...these murders shot forth a rage that will be remembered.
In the fight against police brutality, I chose to be my truest loving self, and the capturer of truth. I knew could still be the lover, just now in different parameters. I’m after changing hearts with my truth, one at a time; bigoted, to the core, or not. For days into weeks, I sat with the anger, pangs of anxiety and paranoia, the hopelessness. A culmination of the still of his relaxed gesture upon this human pleading with his mother.
Though later, when news reached me of people bullying Darnella Frazier for seeking therapy, in response to witnessing the death of George Floyd, confusion, anger then tenderness flowed through. I wondered, will we, as a community, take care of Darnella, so that she may be strong & whole again? And not another statistic, like the 76% of youth left with little to no Mental Health treatment? Or the 2.1% of African American teens who are more likely to attempt suicide? Each of us should question: who will we choose to be once the emotions settle? (https://www.mhanational.org/issues/black-and-african-american-communities-and-mental-health). When BLM is no longer a “trend? Will you hate a little more; will you love any greater?
Many things become visible & alive with love. Not everyone will follow you, nor believe in the cause. It’s not for you to decide, and it’s not for them to understand. Give tenderness to their soul-filled plight. You have the autonomy to choose; to help shape our communities future, no difference what part you play.
I Love You.
As a child, there's always someone to look up to, a superhero of sorts. Whether they're real or not, you never think to question if somebody has your back. Especially since, usually, your parents are your immediate superheroes. My superheroes were two psychologists, a pediatrician, and a psychiatrist. Not your typical knights in shining armor, warding off closet monsters and goblins at the door of my subconscious.
Nonetheless, this is how it came to be. Identifying more with outsiders than my own blood. Thus, explaining the difficulty in answering, "what do you consider home?" The only choice I had to answer this, was to face my fear of many years. Explore the detrimental voices in my head, the people they're connected to and additionally to reinvent and re-illustrate my memories. To do so, I had to aggressively challenge myself to think and create positively. Which was executed through the use of a film, rather than digital, camera. Lessening the chance of self conscious editing and belittlement, and instead force myself to focus on creating a new home. An archive of optimism, born through found and created images.
Lastly, both my mother and former partner, having to meet deadlines, and thinking in opposites (due to my stubborn nature) all tremendously helped to ensure a positive outlook to the process and work as a whole. Although "More Than a Cat" is still a work in progress, I, for the first time in my life can comfortably give myself credit for something. I now realize I am capable of being in a positive state of mind and can create beauty in response. And that's much better than yesterday's Danielle.
How soothing it must be for man to see the world through the same eyes as his best friend. In abstract fractions, integers, pixels by pixels. Never truly able to admit to the grandiosity of untouched land between us. Specifically, the thought that as differing races we may have harmony, patience and understanding. A gradually progressing concept, yet thankfully one that has been graced by families, lovers, cons, musicians, and artists. They knew the world possessed more than a black or white perspective. On the contrary, it is more closely representative of a gray scale. One hundred shades of moderated history; from the nonconformism and independence of early jazz, the ferocity of hip-hop to the revolutionary dedication of activists before us.
Such acts of love and steadfastness shown through standing together, regardless of the era, have been captured before. (It’s no secret that history repeats itself). It nevertheless comes with the connotation of being timeless, hoping to be the new look of the movement. Here I challenge to bring the original face to light, via the 1870’s platinum printing process (the original medium of the work), with relatable settings and features. When made the print speaks bounds to its roots, as evidenced by the textured and rough feel, its brown complexion and required use of 100% cotton paper. All the while allowing today’s youth to have an unbiased, advocated voice.
Both kinds of imagery, from Millions March NYC and discussions with individuals, serve to attempt to fill the void of distance that has been denied for so many years. As well as to, hopefully, show the integration and nonconformism we, as humans, can have. We have the choice to break free from the degenerative repetition, from being distinct, from following the path that was created generations ago, and to create a new face for ourselves and our children.